:P <--- Not me

So, I went to the dentist today, and I got a clean bill of health. No cavities for me! If you don't recall why a simple dental cleaning is blog worthy, feel free to revisit a certain post entitled The Importance of Oral Hygiene.

But actually, something out of the ordinary did happen. The cleaning was over and Dr. G came in to check out my teeth. While she was looking around she said, "You know, we can do something about your tongue." I instantly puff up, "What's wrong with my tongue?" Actually, it came out more like, "Wha wong wi my thon?" She explained, "you're tongue tied." Ok, so once again, I am bearing my soul and defective body parts for you people, I hope you appreciate it. So you know how there is that membrane that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth? Well, I guess mine is a little longer than it's supposed to be. There is a name for it and everything, Anklyoglossia. It can cause speech problems if severe enough, but in my case in just means that I can't stick out my tongue.

[Enter your own "lesbian who can't stick out her tongue" joke here]

Apparently, they can laser that bad boy, and voila, instant Gene Simmons. I said, something like, "Ok, I'll keep that in mind." So then, I called Chris.

Me: You're never going to believe what Dr. G said to me.

CJ: What, more cavities?

Me: No, she said she could laser that thing under my tongue.

CJ: So, when are you doing it?

Me: Wait, wha...

CJ: Let's see, you will probably need someone to drive you home. I'm free anytime next week. I could block out time in May as well...no wait, I've got that big project coming up...oh screw it, this is much more important.

Then I call my Mom who tells me that my sister had her tongue clipped when she was a baby. "I guess yours just wasn't that bad," she says. "Tell that to my girlfriend," I thought.

So, I might be getting my tongue clipped sometime in the near future. I just wonder if it's going to make me talk differently. Or if in the middle of polite conversation, my unencumbered tongue might unfurl onto my plate.

::Sigh:: Why, must these things always happen to me?

The search is over...

I finally decided that since I couldn't find the perfect red t-shirt for GayDay at Disney, that I would just design my own. Here 'tis:The pic is really small, but it's two women with the text "drunk straight girls need not apply" underneath. Although, I do owe getting laid in my early 20's to drunk straight girls. But that's a another t-shirt for another time.

VA Tech

I had the urge to write a post Monday morning whining about how I couldn't sleep Sunday night. I spent the entire night watching the History Channel. But then the shootings at Virginia Tech happened, and bitching about insomnia didn't seem so appropriate.

So, this is just a plea to my blog readers (all 3 of you): can we please stop shooting each other? Can we just make it a little more difficult for someone to walk into a gun shop and buy a 9mm glock? Can we please teach our kids how to deal with anger/rejection/disappointment in a healthy way? And if your 23 year-old college kid is depressed, has no friends, and doesn't talk, get him some fucking help, no matter what the neighbors might think.

A typical Thursday night...

No, not Pavlov's dogs...the other ones

My mother-in-law was in town last week. Simply refer you to my archives...look up November 2006, and you'll get a pretty good idea of how my week was. Truthfully, it wasn't all that bad this time. Other than the underlying tone of misery, the overuse of the word shit, and the threats to move in with us, things went just great. ::clenched smile::

Last time she visited, I was all up in arms, and posting everyday about what she had done. Now, I just don't have the energy. I'm like one of those dogs from the learned helplessness experiments in the 60's. I'll just take the shock. I won't even try to avoid it, much less complain about it.

I do know this, I think a little more time needs to pass before Mommie Dearest comes back to visit. And when she does, there's a lovely Holiday Inn right down the street.