Just call me Bo Duke

Time for an update!

• Christmas - Ho, ho, ho. Check.
• New Year's - Auld Lang Syne and all that crap. Wasn't drunk enough. Check, check.
• Snowmageddon, Snowpocalypse, A-town up, Snow plows down. - Check, check, check.
• Job - Underqualified, overqualified. Make up your mind. Mama needs a check.

My New Year's resolution to only have Starbucks on weekends lasted all of...well, it never happened.  Even during Snow-lapalooza, I only lasted 2 days without Starbucks. I broke out on Day 3, braving hazardous conditions in order to get my caffeine fix.  True to form for me, I had a little incident whilst getting my Starbucks on Day 5 (Friday).  Most of the ice had melted, except for decent size patch of icy slush in my driveway.  I hopped into my Jeep, started backing out and immediately got stuck. In my driveway.  My back tires were sitting squarely on a precariously placed glacier.

Spin, spin, spin.

I pulled forward and backwards, turning the wheel searching for the smallest bit of pavement.


Spin, spin, spin.

I get out, grab a shovel and try to break the ice up behind my back tires enough to gain traction. 

Spin, spin, spin. 

Do I give up?  Hells no!  Did I mention this was Starbucks?  I start to think that if I turn the wheel hard left, I could go into the yard, off the curb and onto the street. Sure there is a little snow on the grass, but as we all know, snow is not the problem, ice is.  So I cut the wheel hard and give it some gas...SUCCESS!  I'm in the yard! Off road, even!  But then, the familiar...

Spin, spin, spin. 

I'm stuck. IN. THE. YARD.  The wet snow + wet leaves underneath = "bitch, please, you need to call AAA."  But do I give up?  HELLS NO!  DID I MENTION THIS WAS STARBUCKS??? 

So, a little more spin, spin, spinning, and I feel the tires begin to grab the surface.  AHA!  I adjust my grip on the steering wheel, set my jaw, lovingly pat the dashboard, yell, "Here we go, baby!" and hit the gas.

What happens next I can only describe as a Dukes of Hazzard moment.  The engine revs, the back end fish-tails, and as I look in the rearview mirror, clumps of snow, wet leaves, and mud fly from my tires, and spray the side of my house.  But, my Jeep, she catches, and I launch out onto the road with a YEE-HAAAAAAAW!

I got a venti, y'all, and it was so worth it.