Thursday, March 22, 2007

These are Days


Can I just say that back in 1993 I so wanted to marry Natalie Merchant? I loved her so. It wouldn't have worked though. She wouldn't take too kindly to my conservative (read: NOT REPUBLICAN) ways.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

WTF Moment of the Day

Ok, so I'm sitting here at work minding my own business when there is a knock at the door. If someone knocks, it's usually a sales call. I say, "Come in!" As I am about to give my "We have a policy against solicitors," speech, I notice that it's housekeeping. She seems surprised then says, "Oh, am I early?" I look at the clock and it's 3:30 p.m. Uh yeah, since you usually come after hours.

But whatever, I can go with the flow. If anything, I'm flexible. So, I say, "it's ok, come on in." She does. What I don't realize is that she is on her cell phone. She's talking to her child who apparently had just gotten home from school and is hungry. But that's ok because there's meatloaf in the fridge but no mashed potatoes. I know all this because the entire time she was in here cleaning, she talked on her cell phone. THE ENTIRE TIME. One point, her assistant (aka her teenage son, I know this because when he came in he said, "Mooooom" in that whiny way teenagers do) came in and they had an entire conversation. Something about him wanting to leave and her saying, "What, you don't want to work anymore?" Then, thank God my phone rings so I don't have to sit there and try to look occupied. While I'm on the phone, she comes up behind me and says, EXCUSE ME, so she can put the trash can back under my desk. I'm like, WTF, I'm on the phone!!! This is a business!!! Nevermind that I was talking to my girlfriend at the time. It's the principle of the matter!!

And as I type this, I swear she's right outside my door vacuuming. Oh no wait, now she's mopping and every once in awhile, SLAM, the mop head hits my door. And oh yes, that's the lovely smell of ammonia wafting through the air.

Me and Lady Lysol are going to have words before this is over. I can feel it.

Monday, March 12, 2007

run a carbon black test on my jaw and you will find, it's all been said before


R.E.M. (my favorite band in the world) is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame tonite in New York City. I thought I would take this oppurtunity to list my all-time favorite R.E.M. songs. How exciting for you!

  1. Radio Free Europe (Murmur)
  2. Don't Go Back to Rockville (Reckoning)
  3. South Central Rain (Reckoning)
  4. Superman (Life's Rich Pageant)
  5. Document (The Entire Album)
  6. World Leader Pretend (Green)
  7. Hairshirt (Green)
  8. Losing My Religion (Out of Time)
  9. Automatic for the People (The Entire Album)
  10. What's the Frequency, Kenneth? (Monster)
  11. New Test Leper (New Adventures in Hi Fi)
  12. Be Mine (New Adventures in Hi Fi)
  13. Daysleeper (Up)
And yes, I know all the lyrics to "It's the End of the World as We Know (And I Feel Fine)."

Try me.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Diapers, Canned Air & A Lesbian With Power Tools

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) -- Astronaut Lisa Nowak was fired from NASA on Wednesday, a month after she was charged with trying to kidnap a woman she regarded as her romantic rival for the affection of a space shuttle pilot.

...wait for it...

That's the way the diaper droops. (Ba-dum-bum.)

In other news of the not-so-obvious variety, can I just say how much I love canned air?
Not only have a blasted enough crumbs out of my keyboard to recreate an entire lunch, I have also dusted my entire desk, detailed my car, AND cleaned out my belly button. Although the latter might have left me with a wee bit of frost bite. No biggie though, navel sensation is overrated anyhow.

The view out of my office window is gorgeous today. Nice and sunny. And my trip to lunch confirms that it's warm as well. This is the time of year where I get all inspired to do yard work. I'm planning on doing some planting this weekend, maybe some ground cover in the back yard near Abba Avenue aka Poopy Trail. (Brief explanation, our special needs dog has serious OCD, and when we first got her she wore a path from the deck to her bathroom spot. The path just got worse and worse to where it was almost a trench, so Chris and I finally edged it with about 1000 brick pavers and lined it with 4 inches of mulch. We named it Abba Avenue. Well, since the unfortunate incident with the car running through our yard and the subsequent repairs, Abba refuses to go into the back yard but chooses to poop on her trail, hence the new name Poopy Trail). So, ground covering by Poopy Trail or I might tackle planting some border plants on either side of our walkway in the front yard. The front yard project will involve power tools (i.e. electric edger), so I'm leaning toward that a little.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Dang It x 2

I missed the lunar eclipse tonite because I got swept away in cleaning the bathroom. :/

In other news, Dove Chocolates (the ones individually wrapped in foil) are the new crack.

Carry on.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Dang It!

I forgot my lunch again. :/